Why I Hate Arithmancy
by chasinglaughter
Summary: I swear Professor Scalar has something against me. She asks me to stay to erase the board after class; when my hand is raised, she doesn't pick me, but when my hand isn't raised, she picks me. Plus she stopped me from ogling the Best Bum Ever. Oneshot.


_**A/N:** I feel like I dropped off the face of the earth for the past... I dunno, 3 or 4 months?_

_*dodges thrown objects*_

_Right. Anyway, I don't know if anyone's still reading my multi-chaptered story, How The Wizarding World Was Saved [shameless plug right there], but if you are, please be patient with me. I'm working on the next chapter right now, but I'm having a hard time with it. And for those of you who say that maybe I'll finish the next chapter sooner if I stop writing one shots, let me just say... I love one shots. :D And this was written during Filipino class, one of the most boring classes I have ever had the misfortune to have, so there. It's sem break, so hopefully I'll be able to finish the chapter but don't cross your fingers. My school's sem break is about 3 days, which is really, really unfair.  
_

_I'll stop rambling and making excuses now. Enjoy, and review, please?_  
__

_**A/N2 [Oct 31 '08]: **I just want to thank those who reviewed. I'm glad you liked it. :)_

_To Cwam [anonymous reviewer]: Thank you so much for your correction and your tips. Like I said, it hasn't been Beta-ed, and I'm still pretty new at writing fanfiction, so yeah. I revised that bit of the dialogue. Thanks! :D  
_

**Disclaimer: **Right, J.K. Rowling's _really_ a thirteen year old girl, living in one of the world's most corrupt countries, writing one shots during class. Not.

**Why I Hate Arithmancy**

Everyone thinks that History of Magic is the most boring and most useless subject at Hogwarts. I disagree. Arithmancy is even _more_ boring and useless than History of Magic. At least in History of Magic, you can catch up on sleep and cram for tests and finish essays. Binns doesn't care – hell, he doesn't even notice.

But Professor Scalar does.

I swear, that woman has something against me. If I raise my hand, she doesn't pick me. If I _don't_ raise my hand, she picks me. She finds ways to criticize me and takes off points for the most inconsequential things in my homework. _And_ she always tells me to stay after class to erase the board.

Alice says I'm imagining things.

Psh. Some best mate _she_ is.

"Merlin, Lily," Alice said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. "For the last time, Scalar doesn't hate you!"

"She does," I insisted as we entered the Arithmancy classroom. "I can't believe you made me take this bloody class! Come to think of it, how _did _you make me take this class? I promised myself I was going to drop it at the end of sixth year."

I had always hated Arithmancy. Me and numbers? Yeah, bad idea.

"I asked you when you were staring at the back of James Potter's head."

I clapped my hand to her mouth and looked around, seeing if someone had heard. "Ssh! Do you want someone to hear?"

I had fancied James ever since late into sixth year. Alice was the only one who knew. I really have to learn to keep a secret from that girl.

Alice rolled her eyes again. She's a little too fond of that.

"Actually, Lily, I do. Just _tell_ him already!"

"No! After supposedly hating him for six years? D'you have any idea how that will sound, Alice?"

She shrugged. I glared. She reached into her bag for her homework. I tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at me.

"What?"

"What?"

UGH. I _hate_ it when she does that to me.

"Good morning, class. Bring out your books," said the voice my nightmares are made of.

I sent Alice one last look before turning to the blackboard.

Scalar began going on about… something. I always zone out as soon as she starts talking. I stared at the blackboard, trying to look like I was paying attention and like I actually understood what Scalar was saying. All my attempts got thrown out the window, though, when James Potter stood up to answer something on the board.

And _damn_, did he look good.

Not that he didn't always look good – he looked good _all _the time, even when he's just woken up or when he's playing Quidditch.

_Especially_ when he's playing Quidditch. When he's wearing his Quidditch robes, and he's all sweaty, and his black hair is even more messed up from the wind…

Mmm.

Anyway, he just looked even better than he usually did. Although I'm not even sure that's possible. To look better than he usually does, I mean. Because, well, he always just looks really, _really_ good.

Right. Moving on.

He looked _so _good that I completely forgot about trying to look like I was paying attention. I just stared at him.

Or, more specifically, his bum.

Merlin, I am _obsessed_.

"Lily." Alice hissed, nudging me in the side.

I waved my hand at her absentmindedly. Did you know that James Potter has the best bum in the entire universe? Like, if there were ever a competition, he'd have the title Owner of the Best Bum Ever.

"Lily!" She elbowed me this time. I slapped her hand away. Alice, can't you see I'm busy appreciating the Owner of the Best Bum Ever? And the bum in question?

"Ahem."

I ignored the cough, thinking it was Alice. Oh, little did I know.

"Miss Evans, if you're quite finished ogling Mr. Potter's backside, can we move on with the lesson?"

She did _not_ say that out loud.

I looked up at Professor Scalar, mortified. "I wasn't staring at his bum!" I protested – rather weakly. "I was, er, pondering the problem you just gave us, staring into blank space! Potter's bum just happened to, er, be in the space I was staring at while pondering!"

She raised an eyebrow, which fascinated me. _I _can't raise an eyebrow.

I could see Alice stifling her laughter, along with the rest of the class, out of the corner of my eye.

_Why _is she my best mate again?

I stepped on her toe and sent a glare to the others who were laughing, and turned back to Scalar, trying to look as innocent as possible. I knew she wasn't buying it though.

It might have had something to do with my red face.

_Great._

"Ten points from Gryffindor for disrupting the academic atmosphere," Professor Scalar said before walking back to the front and continuing the lesson.

Disrupting the academic atmosphere? I wouldn't have disrupted anything if she hadn't opened her big mouth! I was just _appreciating_ the bum of the boy I fancy! There's _nothing_ wrong with that!

She really does have something against me.

"Like what you saw, Evans?"

I jumped and turned around in my seat to see James. Alice giggled. I glared at her.

"How the bloody hell did you get there? You were sitting on the other side of the room with Sirius a while ago!"

"Marauder secret."

I rolled my eyes. He most likely used that Invisibility Cloak he thought I didn't know about.

"So anyway, like what you saw?"

Prat.

"I wasn't looking!"

He raised an eyebrow. Damn, how do people do that?

"It seemed to me you were rather fixated on my bum."

"I was _not_!"

"Sure you weren't. Does this mean you'll come to Hogsmeade with me?"

I was dying to say yes, but luckily my dignity stopped me. Who does he think he is, asking me to Hogsmeade after teasing me about staring at his bum?

"No."

His mouth twitched. He was about to give me his crooked grin, the one I couldn't resist!

Help.

"Are you sure?"

"I – uh – "

Merlin, his dimples.

His smile grew wider. Damn, did his dimples become deeper?

"Lily? Hogsmeade this Saturday?"

I just stared at his teeth, mouth open. I'd never seen his smile so close before.

It was a gorgeous smile.

"Lily?"

His smile was so big at this point; I thought his cheeks would break.

"Uhh – er – "

Oh, forget my dignity! His dimples were _so_ much better.

"Yea – "

"Miss Evans! What did I tell you about disrupting the lesson?"

I _knew_ she had something against me.

_**A/N: **What'd you think? I'm not a big fan of the ending, it just seemed too abrupt, but whatever. I did my best. This hasn't been Beta-ed [none of my stories ever are], so any mistakes are my own.  
_

_The plot was partly inspired by my Science teacher, who **lives** to torture me and my classmates. Review, please. :D  
_


End file.
